


Sherlock, Unaired Pilot

by TheSomewhatRamblingReviewer



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Analysis, Episode Review, Episode: Sherlock (TV) Unaired Pilot, Meta, Nonfiction, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-19 00:35:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16129928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSomewhatRamblingReviewer/pseuds/TheSomewhatRamblingReviewer
Summary: Warning: Contains spoilers for the episode and later seasons. Complete.





	Sherlock, Unaired Pilot

Open to Dr John Watson. Everything from the music, lighting, and his body languages shows he is in a bad place psychologically. He retrieves his laptop from his desk, and there’s a chilling shot of a gun sitting in the drawer. He opens his laptop up to [a page](http://www.johnwatsonblog.co.uk/) declaring itself his personal blog.

Later, he’s talking to his therapist. She asks how the blog is going, and John assures her it’s going great before casually admitting he hasn’t written a word. Heh.

She assures him writing a blog will help adjust to civilian live. His ironic response is, “Nothing happens to me.”

After the credits, DI Greg Lestrade, referred to as Inspector during this episode, and Anderson, a crime technician, are talking at a crime scene. It’s established this case is similar to several others they’ve had, and they’ve yet to get a solid lead. Lestrade withdraws his phone, and Anderson realises he’s about call Sherlock. He desperately tries to assure Lestrade they can totally handle this case without Sherlock, but Lestrade firmly dismisses him.

Anderson wanders off, and Lestrade leaves a weary, polite message.

Elsewhere, John is walking. He passes a man who recognises him, and they stop and chat. The man, Mike Stamford, is a war buddy of John’s. When John mentions his troubles finding a flat, Mike decides to introduce him to Sherlock.

Over to the person in question, Sherlock Holmes is interrogating [Molly](http://www.mollyhooper.co.uk/blog/27january), a morgue worker, about how fresh a dead body he’s currently examining is. He proceeds to beat the corpse with a riding crop.

Molly explicitly said the man donated his body to science, but somehow, I don’t think this was what he had in mind. However, I don’t object to Sherlock doing this. In a minute, he’ll say he’s doing this to test the validity of a man’s alibi. I just can’t help but feel sorry for the person who thinks maybe their body will be used to help cure something along the lines of cancer, diabetes, or acne, and instead, it’s used as a literal whipping boy/girl.

After he’s done beating up the corpse, he makes a big deal about Molly suddenly wearing lipstick. Gathering up her courage, she asks him on a coffee date. He treats this as her offering to bring him a cup.

In my opinion, Sherlock was fully aware of what she was asking. What I’m curious about is why he decided to pretend to misunderstand her. Was it because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings by rejecting her, because he got amusement from screwing with her feelings, or some weird combination of both?

“Okay,” Molly quietly agrees. She’s determined to remain cheerful. As much as I bang my head at her hopeless crush, I will give her props for taking a proactive approach.

In a lab upstairs, Sherlock is sending an email to Mycroft saying, “When you have eliminated the impossible whatever remains must be the truth.” This derives from the Sherlockian quote, ‘Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.’

Then, he pulls up an email for Gregson.

Gregson was another detective in the books, though, he wasn't in them near as much as Lestrade. He and Lestrade had something of a rivalry, and I find this funny due to Tobias Gregson actually being given a full name, unlike the more important G. Lestrade.

I’ve always thought Gregory was the most fitting name and was happy when the show bestowed it on him. As much as I liked Elementary when I was still watching it, I did not appreciate their portrayal or the first name of the character.

Pulling up an email from Lestrade, Sherlock smirks.

Then, John and Mike come in. Sherlock asks Mike if he can borrow his mobile. Mike wonders what’s wrong with using the landline, and Sherlock answers he’d rather text. Mike’s phone has something wrong with it, and John offers his up. Taking it, Sherlock inquires, “Afghanistan or Iraq?”

Aside from being creepy, it’s sad how seamlessly this unaltered line from the 1800s can be applied to the present.

Clearly confused, John answers the former.

Molly comes in, and Sherlock continues to be a jerk about her now-removed lipstick. Molly leaves, and Sherlock launches into a discussion about the flat` and their potential status as flat-mates as he goes about his work.

John assumes Mike told Sherlock, and I love Mike’s expression and tone when he says, “Not a word.”

“Sorry, I’ve got to dash, I think I left my riding crop in the mortuary,” Sherlock says. Heh. What’s even better is this seems to be a bit of his actual eccentricity, not the exaggerated version he deliberately puts on to throw people off-guard. Sherlock honestly doesn’t stop to think how bizarre this sounds or what sort of implications a person might draw from it.

John points out they don’t know one another and that he doesn’t know where they’re supposed to be meeting.

Benedict Cumberbatch truly shows the first signs of how wonderful he’s going to be in this role with how Sherlock reacts here.

Sherlock is briefly quiet when he takes John’s statement in, and then, he gets a subtle not-quite smirk. His tone isn’t arrogant, but it is confident, “I know you’re an army doctor. And you’ve recently been invalided home from Afghanistan. I know you’ve got a brother with a bit of money who’s worried about you, but you won’t go to him for help, because you don’t approve of him. Possibly because he is an alcoholic. More likely because he recently walked out on his wife. And I know your therapist thinks your limp’s psychosomatic, quite correctly, I’m afraid. It’s enough to be going on with, don’t you think?”

Awesomely, Mike continues to be a silent mixture of amused and sympathetic in the background.

Sherlock disappears around a corner before sticking his head back around and adding, “The name’s Sherlock Holmes. And the address is 221B Baker Street.” Making a tsking noise, he winks. “Afternoon.”

He leaves, and John is left wondering if he should turn his gun on himself, Mike, or the obviously supernatural creature he just lent his mobile to.

Without prompting, Mike answers, “Yeah, he’s always like that.” Hee.

The next scene has John going up to Mrs Hudson’s Snax and ‘n’ Sarnies. A cab drives up, and Sherlock gets out. “Mrs Hudson, our landlady,” he states.

Reaching over to shake his hand, John greets him with, “Mister Holmes.”

“Sherlock, please.” He explains they’ll get a special rate due to him helping ensure Mr Hudson was put to death in Florida.

Naturally, John is back to wondering if turning his gun on someone might be the only way to make sense of the world.

Mrs Hudson appears, and she and Sherlock warmly hug.

The men go upstairs, and John is impressed. Sherlock agrees, and they both start talking at the same time. It’s revealed Sherlock has already moved his stuff in, and he hurriedly says, “Obviously, I can straighten things up a bit.”

Aw, it’s sweet how eager he is to impress John and have him as a flatmate.

John discovers a skull, and he declares it real.

Because I have severe issues with seeing actual corpses and human remains, my tactic throughout the series has been to believe it’s actually a prop and try hard not to look at it.

Sherlock explains the skull is a friend, although, whether it actually belonged to anyone he knew personally isn’t clear. His clarifying statement about it is rather ambiguous.

Appearing, Mrs Hudson says there’s another bedroom upstairs if they should need it. John defensively asserts his heterosexuality, and she assures him it’s fine if he and Sherlock are a couple. It’s revealed a landlady friend of hers has a married same-sex couple for tenants.

She starts fussing about the mess Sherlock’s made, and John sits down. Bringing up finding Sherlock’s website, which might be defunct by now, he voices his scepticism. Sherlock points out all he knows about John via deduction.

Then, a squad car pulls up, and Lestrade comes upstairs. He repeatedly asks, “Will you come?”

Sherlock protests Anderson’s involvement, although, notably, his protest is, “Anderson won’t work with me,” rather than him actually objecting to Anderson’s presence. Finally, he answers, “Not in a police car. I’ll be right behind.”

“Thank you,” Lestrade answers in relief. He bows his head.

Lestrade leaves, and bouncing in happiness, Sherlock enthuses about how nice it is to have a creative serial killer when there’s nothing good on the telly. He tells Mrs Hudson he might need some food, and she answers, “I’m your landlady, dear, not your housekeeper.”

In response, he says, “Something cold will do. John, make yourself at home. Have a cup of tea. Don’t wait up.”

He rushes out, and Mrs Hudson chatters a bit before telling John to rest his leg.

“Damn my leg!” is John’s vicious response.

To credit, he immediately gives a sincere apology.

Mentioning her bad hip, she agrees to make the tea, just this once. However, taking a cue from Sherlock, he asks for some biscuits, as well, despite her protests she’s not his housekeeper.

John looks at a newspaper involving the suicides, and Sherlock reveals he hasn’t left yet. “You’re a doctor. In fact, you’re an army doctor.”

“Yes,” John answers. He stands up.

“Any good?”

“Very good.”

“Seen a lot of injuries, then? Violent deaths?”

“Well, yes.”

“Bit of trouble, too, I bet.”

“Of course. Yes. Enough for a lifetime. Far too much.”

“Want to see some more,” Sherlock causally inquires.

“God, yes,” John answers a bit too eagerly.

“Come on, then,” Sherlock says.

It’s as if they’re two little boys about to get into a spot of mischief.

John eagerly follows.

Mrs Hudson protests the indecency of Sherlock’s happiness over the murderers, despite being just as happy for him, and he answers, “Who cares about decency? The game, Mrs Hudson, is on.”

In a cab, the duo sits awkwardly until, reading the situation, Sherlock breaks the silence with, “Okay, you’ve got questions.”

“Where are we going?”

“Crime scene. There’s been a murder. Next,” is Sherlock’s impatient response.

“Who are you? What do you do,” John exclaims. He does continue: Will bullets even work on you? Because if not, I’ll just take Mike out before taking myself out.

“What do you think,” is Sherlock’s non-answer.

John rules out a private detective due to the fact police don’t go to private detectives.

Sherlock explains he’s a consulting detective, the only one in the world, and John replies the police don’t consult amateurs.

As an aside, police may not bring in outside assistance for most cases, but there are certain cases when they do. Given the right case, a P.I. being brought in isn’t really a stretch along with other experts or even supposed psychics.

There’s a flashback to earlier, and Sherlock explains how he used deduction on John. He finishes with, “There you go, you see, you were right.”

“I- was right. Right about what?”

“The police don’t consult amateurs,” is Sherlock’s awesome response.

“That was- amazing.”

Sherlock is surprised and a little suspicious. Not reading this, John simply continues showing his genuine respect and amazement.

“That’s not what people usually say.”

“What do they usually say?”

“‘Piss off’.”

They get to the crime scene, and John reveals Sherlock was right about everything but the gender of his sibling. Harry is short for Harriet.

I love the way this reveal is handled. Sherlock couldn’t care less about the lesbian relationship. He’s annoyed solely, because, his deductive skills failed him. Meanwhile, this scene shows John’s problem with Harry seems to be solely based on her alcoholism and her possible mistreatment of Clara rather her lesbianism/bisexuality.

They go up to where Sally Donovan, a sergeant in this episode who is played by a different actress than in the series proper, is guarding the crime scene. She’s acerbic towards Sherlock, and interestingly, he’s mostly dismissive of her. He takes a few shots, but they don’t come across as anyway malicious. It’s more as if he knows she expects him to and does so just to keep their dynamic the way she insists it be.

Amusingly, when told John is a colleague, her response is to ask him, in reference to Sherlock, “Did he follow you home?”

Anderson appears, and he shows a bit more maliciousness when he reveals Anderson is cheating on his wife with Sally. Then, he implies Sally preformed oral sex on Anderson, but the target still seems to be Anderson rather than her.

John and Sherlock go inside, and Lestrade tries to figure out who John is. Sherlock is insistent John being with him is all Lestrade needs to know. They go upstairs where a woman dressed in pink lies dead. Sherlock asks John’s opinion, and Lestrade and Sherlock get into a bit of an argument. Sherlock insists Lestrade needs him.

“Yes, I do. God help me,” Lestrade acknowledges.

Kneeling down to help Sherlock, John points out he’s supposed to be helping Sherlock pay the rent.

“This is more fun,” Sherlock answers.

When John protests, Sherlock brings up the other dead victims and says there will be more if the case isn’t solved quickly.

It’s established the victims are poisoned, but they seem to have willingly taken the poison themselves. Sherlock reveals this victim is in her 30s, likely a media person, is unhappily married, and has had several affairs. He uses his phone to locate where she came from based on weather and repeatedly mentions her suitcase.

Finally, Lestrade reveals there’s no suitcase.

Insisting there was, Sherlock explains he just assumed the police had already taken it. He asks about her mobile, and it’s missing, too.

Then, Sherlock has a realisation, and Cumberbatch’s facial expression and body language are awesome. He hurries out. John and Lestrade follow.

He gets Lestrade to agree to a media blackout for a day, and then, announces, “Houston, we have a mistake!” Hee.

Sherlock leaves, and Lestrade calls the others in. He’s polite but curt in telling John to get lost.

John wanders out, and Sally is kind to him as she makes her disdain and distrust of Sherlock clear. “One day, just showing up isn’t going to be enough. One day, we’ll be standing around a body, and Sherlock Holmes’ll be the one who put it there,” she foreshadows.

Leaving, he sees modern day superhero Sherlock standing on a building and looking around. Part of it is cheesy, and part of it is epic.

John goes back to what I think is his old place, and he gets texts from Sherlock telling him to come meet up with Sherlock.

In a cab, the cabbie isn’t the villain, but he does comment on John’s wired behaviour.

John goes up to find Sherlock has on three nicotine patches. John asks what was so important he had to come over, and Sherlock asks to borrow his phone since Sherlock’s phone number is on his website. John is disbelieving.

“Mrs Hudson’s got a phone.”

“Yeah, but she’s downstairs. I tried shouting, but she didn’t hear,” Sherlock responds, because, explaining he’s sorry and really does want John as his partner is too advanced for him to figure out how to do.

Sherlock has John send a text, and John notices the pink suitcase. Then, Sherlock reveals he just had John text a murderer.

By now, John has figured out two things: One, bullets will not kill Sherlock Holmes, and two, he already likes Sherlock way too much to take a bullet to himself.

Someone calls John, and he doesn’t answer. Sherlock says an innocent man would assume it was a mistake and ignore the text, but a guilty man would panic.

I have to disagree. Some people would make an effort to contact the text-sender in order to tell the text-sender they had made a mistake so the text-sender could try properly contacting the person they were trying to reach.

Bringing up Sally, John accuses of Sherlock of getting off on this, and Sherlock’s response is, “And I said danger, and here you are.”

Martin Freeman is excellent with how John’s face silently concedes how truly he was just owned. He follows with an exasperated, “Damn it!”

At a restaurant, they position themselves so that they can watch who passes by the place they texted the murderer. Then, the restaurant owner, Angelo comes over, though, a different actor than in A Study in Pink plays him. “Anything on the menu, whatever you want, free, all on the house, you and your date.”

Sherlock asks if John wants to eat, and John protests, “I’m not his date.”

Angelo hugs a nonplussed Sherlock, and deciding to help Sherlock out with his reticent date, he tells John, “He got me off a murder charge.”

Ignoring the fact Angelo is still wrapped around him, Sherlock explains how, three years ago, he proved Angelo was carjacking in a different part of town during the time of a vicious triple-murder.

“He cleared my name.”

“I cleared it a bit,” Sherlock corrects.

Angelo promises he’ll personally cook whatever they order.

Sherlock thanks him.

“If not for you, I’d’ve gone to prison.”

Proving even Sherlock can be the straight man on occasion, he points out, “You _did_ go to prison.”

Well, yeah, but I can see Angelo’s side. I imagine going to prison for carjacking and having said crime on a permanent record would be much preferable to contending with a vicious triple-murder charge. Angelo doesn’t care about Sherlock sending him to prison; he cares about Sherlock saving his name, his eventual freedom, and possibly even his life.

Angelo decides to get a candle for the table on the grounds it’ll be more romantic.

“I’m not his date,” John insists.

He totally is.

Sherlock suggests John eat, and John asks if Sherlock is going to. Upon being told the day, Sherlock declares he’s okay for the time being.

John asks if Sherlock has a girlfriend to occasionally feed him. Unsure how to deal with his already strong feelings towards John, not sure what sort of relationship he wants them to have, and also realising he is indeed trying to feed John up, Sherlock asks if this is what girlfriends do.

Asking if Sherlock has a boyfriend, John quickly clarifies it’s fine if he does.

Making it clear he agrees it’s fine, Sherlock awkwardly makes it clear he’s married to his work.

I’ve read Martin Freeman ships John/Sherlock. I tend to take anything I read about actors and shipping with a grain of salt, but if he isn’t trying to, at least, throw the Johnlock shippers a bone, I’m not sure what he was going for during this scene. For all John’s protestations of heterosexuality, everything points to John being wildly attracted to Sherlock, already incredibly fond of him, and completely confused about and unwilling to truly acknowledge all of these feelings bubbling inside of him.

There’s a bit of a jump, and John is eating. Sherlock explains the murderer is a cabbie, and mentioning his love for little old ladies, he declares them better than security cameras. No one ever mentioned a strange car parked around the victims. He explains people get into cabs, strange cars, when lost or drunk and never see the face of the driver but feel safe doing so.

Outside, a cab pulls up near the address.

Sherlock calls for a glass of white wine.

Angelo brings it to him. Thanking Angelo, he pours it on himself and orders John to watch but not interfere. Then, he tells Angelo, “Headless nun.”

“Ah, now that was a case,” Angelo says. He rolls up his sleeves. “Same again?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

In response, Angelo loudly and forcibly evicts Sherlock from the restaurant. Hee.

Sherlock does a good job of drunkenly stumbling around, and Angelo goes over to watch him with John. Part of the reason is so he can build Sherlock up to Sherlock’s date. Despite John’s protests, he’s probably the only one Sherlock has ever brought here, and he’s certainly the only one Angelo has ever seen Sherlock act this way with.

Over at the cab, Sherlock seems to have something of an accent.

Incidentally, Philip Davis, the actor playing the cabbie, was in Different for Girls, a film Rupert Graves (Lestrade) starred in. Davis played a cabbie there, too. His character was annoying but not evil.

The cabbie refuses to give Sherlock a ride, and so, Sherlock moves slightly out of sight and calls the woman’s mobile. Then, he physically attacks the cabbie.

In response, the cabbie asks about drugs, and Sherlock answers he hasn’t done any in sometime. It’s revealed the cabbie stuck him with a needle at some point.

There are people partially blocking John’s view, but he gets uneasy with the way Sherlock is moving. Tossing Sherlock into the cab, the cabbie assures the nearby people Sherlock is just a bit drunk. Angelo assures John everything is part of Sherlock’s plan, but John knows the plan has been compromised.

Leaving without his cane, he runs fast.

Meanwhile, Sherlock comes to in 221B. The cabbie has a line about how he could do anything at all he wanted to Sherlock, and if Sherlock were a woman, the cabbie would be completely reviled by large sections of the fandom.

Davis does an awesome job in this scene with how the cabbie reveals himself as a bitter genius. He gives Sherlock a choice between two pills. Sherlock gets to choose which he takes and which the cabbie takes.

Because Sherlock is still drugged, I’m not going to complain about him bringing up the point non-genius me immediately thought of: How can this serial killer be trusted? The pills could both be poison for all anyone knows. Even if someone insisted he take his first, and he did, thus, supposedly leaving them with the bad pill, he could have just pretended to swallow it. If he takes it at the exact same time as someone, they’re dead, and he’s sitting there with it under his tongue or something.

Sherlock deduces the cabbie is dying, and he admits to having an aneurysm. Sherlock asks what happens if he takes neither, and the cabbie says he’ll force one down Sherlock’s throat.

The phone rings, and there are police lights outside.

Interestingly, the vials show several other pills. Which leads to the question: What if one of them is the good pill?

The cabbie coaxes him into making a choice instead of answering the phone. They both pick up a pill.

Of course, the cabbie succumbs to a classic villain mistake: Instead of having them take the pills right away, he blabbers.

A shot rings out, and a bullet goes through a window. Going into the cabbie, it misses Sherlock.

Outside, Lestrade tries to find out who fired, and Sherlock sees a window to a building across the street.

Later, Sherlock is outside sitting in an ambulance with a shock blanket around him as he sips from a mug and has his pulse taken. He expresses his bewilderment to Lestrange about the blanket, and Lestrade’s response is, “Yeah, but some of the guys want to take photographs.”

See, Lestrade is a good leader. He lets Sherlock torture his officers in exchange for help stopping bad criminals, but he also lets his people take pleasure in Sherlock’s misfortunes. It’s all about balance.

It’s established the shooter wasn’t one of the police, and Sherlock starts to use his skills to tell Lestrade who the shooter was, but then, he sees John standing away from the crowd and realises who the shooter was. Insisting Lestrade ignore all he just said, he even declares, “It’s the shock talking.”

He starts to go over to John, and Lestrade asks if he chose the right pill.

Assuming his didn’t get mixed with the others, it can be tested.

Sherlock goes over to John, and John tries to pretend he didn’t witness first-hand what went down. “Don’t. Just don’t,” Sherlock quietly orders. “What did you do with the gun?”

John answers, and Sherlock declares they need to get rid of the powder burns on John’s hands. He doesn’t think John would serve time, but it’s best not to risk it. Then, he asks if John is alright with killing a man.

As usual, Freeman does a wonderful job here. John explains he’s seen good men, friends of his, die, and he thought he’d never sleep again. But he’ll sleep just fine tonight.

“Quite right,” Sherlock softly answers with a touch of fondness and respect.

“You were going to take the damn pill, weren’t you?”

Sherlock insists he wasn’t, even though they both know John shot only when he knew Sherlock was going to.

They have some more back-and-forth, smile at one another, and decide to go get Chinese. Lestrade tries to stop Sherlock, but John steps in.

“Who the hell are you,” Lestrade demands.

“His doctor,” John answers.

They walk off, and it’s revealed John was shot in the shoulder.

I know this was a shout-out to Doyle’s inability to remember where Watson’s wound was, but I have to wonder if being shot in the shoulder could really cause psychosomatic pain in the leg.

They briefly deal with an irritated, confused Mrs Hudson as Lestrade watches. Sherlock gave him enough information I’d be surprised if he didn’t, at least, suspect John was the shooter, but like Sherlock, he sees why it’s best no one else knows.

He tells Sally, “We’re going to need those two in tomorrow.”

Unfortunately, Sally has to be made somewhat stupid in order for Lestrade to give the epic answer, “Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson.”

The last shot is of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson walking together with happy music playing.

Fin.


End file.
